Time to Set Things Straight
People have been debating me on whether chupacabras suck goat blood. Some people have suggested it was an insane vampire, or the Goatman and the magical frog.
Well here are some thoughts on those horribly wrong ideas, and why my theory withstands the tests of time and logic
1.The Goatman would never resort to cannabalism
2.What would the magical frog use to suck the blood with huh huh huh
3.The chupacabras lives in Puerto Rico where it sucks the blood of goats. The Goatman lives in Washington D.C. how does he get to Puerto Rico huh huh does he swim there.
4.People have actually seen the Chupacabras unlike this magical frog or Vampires
5. Science has proven that magical frogs hate the tropical conditions of Puerto Rico, and that the Goatman prefers colder climates even though he commutes to Texas every now and then.
6.Vampires do not eat animals they eat people that's why they are vampires
posted by Rabbit-man at 11:54 PM
9 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Sun Jan 29, 07:18:00 AM
First of all, it's not magical frogs, but actually "Loveland frogs". Geez, let me clue you in for a little bit of information known only to expert cryptozoologists.
1. Goatman is actually scientifically classfied as Order Artiodactyla, Family Bovidae,Genus Capra erectus, while a normal feral goat is Order Artiodactyla, Family Bovidae, Genus Capra hircus. Since they are not the same species, it is considered that goatman consuming a goat is not cannibalism. Even the wikipedia states that cannibalism is the act or practice of eating members of one's own "species", which means goatman can eat goat without an accusation of cannibalism.
2. Hmm... Magical Frog. Perhaps since they are so magical, that even their name is Magical Frog, maybe, and just MAYBE they can use their magic? Perhaps? Hmm? And of course, you do recognize that they posess wands, that could be used to puncture through a goat to its dermis?
3. Goatman sightings are not limited to just DC. There has been sighting all over the US, including Texas, as you say, later in the article. And no, Chupacabra's habitat is not limited to Puerto Rico. There have been sightings in Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, Puerto Rico, Brazil, California, and even Washington State, for your information. Some of the locations does indeed conincide with habitation of Goatman and Loveland Frogs.
4. There have been accounts of sightings for both Vampires and Loveland Frogs. In year 2003, there were panics of vampires Malawi, an African country to the south that eventually led to death of four people, including Governor Eric Chiwaya, because of the accusation of government allying with the vampire society. In year 2005, there were reports of an attacker in Birmingham, England, who was said to have been biting people. As for Loveland frog, there has been sighting in Loveland, Ohio in 1955, and two in 1972, all dexcribing a similar creature. There has been theories that the frog actually migrated from Ohio. This theory is supported by many sighting of similar creature that closely resembles Loveland frog, including the "Lizardman" of Wayne, New Jersey, the "Giant Lizard" of Milton, Kentucky, and the "Lizard Man" of Bishopville, South Carolina, in 1988. It's moving patterns suggests it is possibly heading toward warmer climate, and we, the cryptozoology foundation, believe that its next destination is Everglades area in Florida.
5. The science did not prove that frogs detests tropical climate, nor goatman preferring colder climate. In fact, goat has one of the widest habitat among other mammals, even in tropical areas of Africa, or the peninsula of India, where goat is often eaten with curry. And as for frogs, they live mainly in water or damp places though non in salt water. Some even lives in the arctic circle. So it is illogical for a frog, requiring the moist to hate the tropical. What science?
6. Vampires do not eat people. That is just cannibalism. They just drink the blood, and have no interest in consuming the muscular systems. And yes, vampires do subsist on animal blood. (hematophagy) In fact, vampirism is the practice of drinking blood from a person/animal, and so vampires have every right to drink animal blood.
Sun Jan 29, 01:45:00 PM
"5. The science did not prove that frogs detests tropical climate, nor goatman preferring colder climate. In fact, goat has one of the widest habitat among other mammals, even in tropical areas of Africa, or the peninsula of India, where goat is often eaten with curry. And as for frogs, they live mainly in water or damp places though non in salt water. Some even lives in the arctic circle. So it is illogical for a frog, requiring the moist to hate the tropical. What science?"
You said yourself the goatman is not a member of the goat species, so it cannot be assumed that the goat would like to live in these tropical places. The cryptozoology website said that the goatman is
from cryptozoology.com
"The most down to earth explanation is that the Goat-Man is simply a mentaly disturbed individual(s) who commit these odd acts beleiving they are said goatman. Others point to the creature being some sort of neanderthal in clothing or odd man-ape. The most outlandish of these tails tells of a universty professor who was transformed into a mutant goat-man by his own hand and roams the woods with an ax and a chip on his shoulder."
See the goatman is a human, while this new discovery may discount my first theory it discounts everything you say.
1. If the goatman is a crazed individual than it can't live in Puerto rico, because all the crazed people are taken away by the aliens who have an underwater base nearby.
2. There are no man apes or neanderthals, because the bible says they don't exist, so they can't be in Puerto Rico.
3. If the goatman is a scientist/goat than he wouldn't be in Puerto Rico, because no scientists would live there, they are all afraid of the aliens.
4. The magical frog is not this loveland frog you speak of, it is instead a regular frog with a third eye that can see the future, and it has never been seen by anyone except for several insane people who may secretly be the goatman.
5. Even if you want to consider the loveland frog a culprit, you are disproved by your own facts, no where in your diatribe do you mention it being spotted in Puerto Rico. Sure it may be heading to Florida, but florida is "Americas wang", not Puerto Rico which is also known as "Americas forgotten child".
I think I am rambling here so lets see you worm your way out of this one Vicious Dreamer
hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha........
Sun Jan 29, 02:29:00 PM
"Geez, let me clue you in for a little bit of information known only to expert cryptozoologists."
According to your blogger profile you are only 16 you need to be at least 17 like me to be an Expert criptozoologist.
"vampires have every right to drink animal blood"
Just because they have the right to do that doesn't mean they will. Have you ever met a vampire? If you have they would have told you that animal blood tastes like shit, and they only get their best vampire powers from drinking human blood.
Sun Jan 29, 02:37:00 PM
What's the matter vicious dreamer you can't make a good argument? Is my bestest friend Rabbit-man too smart for you?
Mon Jan 30, 07:32:00 PM
In case you didn't know, there are many types of vampires in the world, some of which are not yet classified. There are many types you see, and the two dominant types are either slvaic or romanian vampires. We (our cryptozoology team) have observed vampire behaviors for 3 months, and we came to the conclusion that our stereotypical view of them sucking human blood are mainly from the European, Slavic and Romanian vampires.
These two vampires cultures closely resemble each other, and their culture mainly relies on human blood, unlike others that depend on blood of other animal, for example, goat, chicken, sheep, and cows. Since they cannot cross over a running water, their culture never were assimilated within each other, and so their ancient tradition still lives on today.
And also, vampires would not know if blood tastes like shit because they don't know what shit tastes like in the first place. And they never will know, unlike some people.
By the way, there are no age limits for cryptozoology experts. And since you are older than me, and apparently more qualified to become a cryptozoologist, why don't you spell it right?
And whatever you are, int. nat. man of chickens with an additional s at the end, you stay out of this argument. And that's pretty sad if Rabbit-man is your best friend.
Mon Jan 30, 08:51:00 PM
SO so so so so so sad
Your criptozoology team just hasn't had the heart to tell you the true spelling of the word so so so so sad.
Your team also hasn't told you about the age limit either. The higher ups are gonna be angry with me for telling you about it, so just forget about the age limit till you're 17, then you will Know like me.
Once again your Criptozoology Knowledge comes into question. Once again you are put to shame by me. Once again you attack the international man of mystery and chickens. When will you get some class, I would loan you some, but then the whole nation of China and parts of eastern asia would be in trouble.
Mon Jan 30, 09:20:00 PM
Wha? ...China? loan? higher?
Rabbit-man, when will you learn? Your so called "team of cryptozoologists" are just group of laboratory workers, who slave away in their tiny little compartments and computers, trying to figure out every little detail, while we're the field scientists, getting chance to experience all in the real world. And only reason you're around the cryptozoologists are because you are a FREAK, who needs to be researched, along with chupacabras, and magical frogs. That's why they put you in a cage, and observing you, RABBIT-MAN. That's just it.
I'm a human, you're a rabbit-man.
You're an unexplained creature, and needs to be lobotomized. That's all.
Would like a carrot flavored ice cram for that BURN you just got?
Tue Jan 31, 07:13:00 PM
Vicious Dreamer I know who your team of Cryptozoologists are
Francisco Bolivar
Jack
Yong Kwon
The I hate pork terrorists.
It sickens me that you would join forces with the I HATE PORKERS.
Tue Jan 31, 09:28:00 PM
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