Rabbit-man, The "only reason you're around the cryptozoologists is because you are a FREAK, who needs to be researched, along with chupacabras, and magical frogs. That's why they put you in a cage, and observe you, RABBIT-MAN. That's just it. I'm a human, you're a rabbit-man. You're an unexplained creature, and needs to be lobotomized. That's all."-Vicous Dreamer

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Reader Q+A

All right one of the most common questions I get from my loyal readers is, "Rabbit-man, how do I create a homunculus?" Usually my answer to this question is why the hell do you want to make one, do you know all the stuff that you have to do, it's really really nasty, but today I have decided to tell you another way to create a homunculus. A way that does not involve putting semen into horse shit (seriously somebody did this), in fact it is a way that does not involve putting semen into anything (just about everyone who has made one has put it into something).

  • All right first you should go over to your local graveyard, wait actually I meant go to your local starbucks. Alright you're at the starbucks right? Okay good. Now stand on a box, and take off your shoes. Now yell "PRESIDENT BUSH IS THE BEST PRESIDENT EVEERRR"
  • Okay now head on over to the local KFC, when you are there order some chicken. Do you have the chicken all right cool. Now take the chicken and throw it into the cashiers face, and yell " I'M NOT EATING THIS CHICKEN, BECAUSE IT WAS TORTURED BEFORE IT DIED".
  • Did you do that? Wow good work. All right now run over to the local best buy. Go to the CD section, and grab as many CDs as you possibly can, and stick them into your pants. Now RUUUNNNNN for the door, if you make it out, good job, leave the cd's under the rock at the local park the one right across the street from the wal-mart. The rock with the black mark on it, leave em right there.
  • Now head over to the local chicken coop, and grab the fatest chicken you can find. Now take the chicken, and twist it's neck to the left, not the right, THE LEFT you idiot, god dangit the LEFT you stupid idiot, THE LEFT.
  • Now dance around with the chicken, for a little bit. And chant ARISE GREAT CHICKEN ARISE NOW.
  • The great chicken should arise, after you dance around for an hour or so. Now ask him to create a homunculus for you. Do not watch when he creates it, it will freak you out seriously, you do not want to see what it has to do. Did you read that stuff I wrote in that first paragraph? Yeah, it's like ten times worse than that seriously do not watch, or listen for that matter. After a little while you should have a homunculus.

A homunculus is a lot like a zombie, but it's stupider, and not quite as strong or durable for that matter, in fact why the heck do you want to make a homunculus anyway you freak, you should just make a zombie.


Blogger vicious dreamer said...

Sigh... you have no idea how homunculus are really made, don't you. Well, bunny guy, let me explain it for you. When a man and a woman loves each other so much... Just kidding. The recipe for homunculus consists of a bag of bones, sperm, skin fragments and hair from any animal you want it to be a hybrid of. This is to be laid in the ground surrounded by horse manure for forty days, at which point the embryo will form. This is basic, duh!

Sun Feb 19, 10:05:00 PM

Blogger Rabbit-man said...

"The recipe for homunculus consists of a bag of bones, sperm, skin fragments and hair from any animal you want it to be a hybrid of."
I think that you are talking about chimeras you fool.
Once again I was talking about creating a homunculus without putting semen in stuff. You must have been reading the wikipedia definition of homunculus.

I have had experiences in the dark Magicks and have found other ways of creating one. Once again you prove yourself to be a complete and utter fool. Hahahahahahahahaha

This post doesn't really make sense does it?

Sun Feb 19, 11:24:00 PM

Blogger ~greg said...

Have you seen Donnie Darko? Your blog name and picture are super hilarious within the context of that film:-)

Mon Feb 20, 10:32:00 PM

Blogger KEvron said...

and out of context?


Wed Feb 22, 09:01:00 PM

Blogger KEvron said...

how do you make a golem?


Wed Feb 22, 09:02:00 PM

Blogger vicious dreamer said...

I think you have to be a rabbi in order to make one. For a limited time, you can purchase them at Hobby Lobby for approximately $5.99.

Wed Feb 22, 10:47:00 PM

Blogger Rabbit-man said...

I think that I will quote vicious dreamer right here.

"What the hell? I just rest from checking the blog for a few hours" and someone else is acting like they are the ruler of it. Vicious Dreamer what the heck are you doing you fool? Don't answer questions on this blog, it is my blog, and if I want to answer the question, I will fucking answer it, godammit! Who do you think you are barging into other people's blogs and answering questions posed to the blog's owner?

If you wish to recieve any mercy from me, you will post a 500 word essay apologizing for your transgressions Vicious Dreamer.

Thu Feb 23, 08:02:00 PM


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