Rabbit-man Manifesto Part VIII

Today I was sorting through the massive amounts of feedback mail that I recieve everyday, and I relized something truly horrifying. None of the people who wrote me knew how to properly create a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So without further ado I present:

Rabbit-man's School of Peanutbutter & Jelly Sandwhiching for complete idiots: In 29.5 easy steps

1. The first step is to collect your supplies. You will need crunchy peanut butter (smooth is for pansies), jelly, WHITE bread (no whole wheat you crazy hippies), and a KNIFE.
2. To get the supplies head over to the local grocery store with a friend. When you enter the store, grab all the items you need, and place a few other things in your friends hands. Now push him out of the door to the grocery. This should trigger the alarms, once the alarms are triggered the security should be too distracted with your friend to care about you, and you can escape with the supplies.
3. Now that you have assembled all of the supplies you will need to test the sharpness of the knife. First grab it and rub it against your neck. If your neck starts to bleed, then the knife is sharp.
4. Clean the knife
5. Now that you have the knife in your hand raise it above your head and chase the nearest person. Make sure you yell, "AGGHHHHH!!!!!", it's important.
6. After you finish chasing the other person grab a sledgehammer. Walk over to the peanut butter jar, and smash it, also smash the jelly after you smash the peanut butter. Then smash your left hand (you won't need it for the rest of the project).
7. Now take the peanutbutter and scrape it off the walls, and place it on the white bread that you got in step 2

You now have a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich aren't you special. Oh you think your so great don't you....Well idiot remember who told you that trick. YEAH your good friend RABBIT-MAN.